Wife Sharing Part VI. Afterwards

Part VI
Afterward

Keeping Emotions In Check

As much your wife/girlfriend will try to avoid it, she may bond to her sexual partners at some emotional level.  She's human and is naturally drawn to any man she has sex with to a limited degree.  There are several ways to minimize this bond and the anxiety it may cause.  These methods revolve around the amount of time spent together, the frequency of the sexual encounters, the physical presence of her husband/boyfriend during sex outside the relationship, open communication and the maintenance of your relationship.

Keep the sexual encounter to just that.  A few hours of sexual activity is enough.  For most couples, once or twice a year of this activity is plenty.  You don't want a steady diet of sex outside of the relationship.  If you want a repeat performance, take pictures or video the event and re-live the experience at home.

Make it a threesome.  The presence of a husband/boyfriend will help her keep emotions in check.  Realize it will feel awkward for her and her new lover.  It will take an adjustment period where the three of you get used to each other in the bedroom, but it is nothing you can't work through.  If you take it slow, this is not difficult.  Have a drink, start with a massage.  Move to heavy petting and let things happen naturally.  ;-)
It is best not to "go on a date" alone - especially at first.  It also reduces the anxiety for the husband/boyfriend.  I let my girlfriend "date" and stayed home wondering what was happening.  On one level, this is exciting, but on another it makes for very anxious moments and mixed feelings.  If she arrives home an hour late, it will feel like minutes for her and days for him.  When she comes home, the man is more than ready to have sex but she will have had time to cool off.  She and may not want sex at all.  Talk about disappointment.  :-(   The sex immediately after (seconds later) she's been with her lover is the very best of all.  Don't miss out by staying home.

This is not the place for romance.  If an evening out for her is agreed upon, it should NOT include a dinner, dancing, lot's of discussion and subsequent sex.  This is "dating" mode.  It is the way in which we court a member of the opposite sex and establish a potential lifelong partnership - but inappropriate for a shared wive/girlfriend.  If a date is arranged, it should be short (i.e. for a drink, then upstairs to the hotel room).  At a predetermined time, the husband/boyfriend should knock on the door. This can be a few minutes after her lover departs or he can still be there.  The couple can decide.  Another way to arrange this is to have all three of you there in the hotel room when you begin, then the husband/boyfriend can leave for a while (e.g. 30-45 minutes) and return.  Again, this is not suggested the first time.
There should not be any discrete communications between the woman and her new sex partner.  No daily e-mail banter, phone calls, mail, flowers or personal visits.  It is my suggestion that the man maintains the dialog with the new partner in e-mail format only and he should not be allow to talk your wife/girlfriend directly.  This is not meant to control your spouse/girlfriend, it is to keep this new partners desire for more of a relationship firmly in check.  His communication will be less romantic if he knows the boyfriend/husband is reading the mail.  As stated earlier, I have a rule: 

When I contact you, you can respond with mail.  If you don't hear from me, then we don't want to hear from you.  If you break this rule, it is over.

Talk about the emotions she feels afterward.  It is OK if she likes him, but if she feels something more, you both should be careful about future meetings.  Feelings of guilt sometimes set in at first, but with reassurance from the husband/boyfriend, this will pass.  Have a heart-to-heart talk about how both of you feel several days later.  It is a new experience for both of you and the relationship you already have is always the first priority.

Keep the romance alive within your own relationship.  Don't make the grass look greener somewhere else.  Treat her like a princess at the center of your world.