Wife Sharing Part II, Are We Ready?

---

Part II
Are We Ready?

Are we ready to turn fantasy into reality?

There are several prerequisites that should be met before you both consider turning this fantasy into a reality which relate to your background, mindset and age. Have you explored the more moderately erotic sexual activities first?  There are several turn-ons that help to bring about sexual maturity.  These are discussed in the next section.  The fantasy has to become her fantasy.  In some cases, this is a difficult hurdle and is discussed in the next sections.  Men often fail to understand that turning this fantasy into reality for her is more of a journey, with several key steps along the way. She must be capable of having sex without emotional involvement.  This is relatively easy for a large percentage of men, but may be difficult for women.  Society dictates to women, from a young age that "where her body goes, so does her heart".  It is important that you talk about this issue up front so she can feel comfortable with sexual play without attachment. Age makes a difference for some.  Older couples, in their 30's and beyond are generally more comfortable with this type of adult play.  This is particularly true for women.

 

Discussions with her about the fantasy

This section will mainly apply to the male readers. Women want respect, love and physical sex - usually in that order.  If you're preparing to discuss this seriously with your partner, this is a perfect time to work on your relationship.   Before you broach the subject directly, it is assumed you've already explored her sexual past and have bought toys that help explore sex with another partner.  There are countless ideas, but I've compiled a list of sexual experiences that encourage sexual maturity for both of you:

• Less sexually advanced:
  • Have her dress up in a sexy outfit such as tight jeans and blouse, then go to a secluded location such as a park.  Unbutton a few buttons on her blouse or jeans and take photographs of her in sexy poses.
  • Give your wife a gift certificate for a body massage and prearrange to have a man deliver the massage.
  • Read one of the books in the Women Readers section.
  • Role play.  Have her come into a bar and flirt with you, pick you up and take you home.
  • Have sex in risky places where there is a chance someone might see you.
  • Buy her a revealing dress.  Go somewhere you won't be known and dance the night away in front of others.
  • Have her dress provocatively, then go to a public place.  Watch other men watch her.
  
  More advanced:
  
  • If you're apart (e.g. business travel), call her when you've been away for several days and encourage her to act as if your fantasy has come true over the phone.
  • Place an ad in "Your Wife's Lovers" on the Dark Wanderer and encourage a man to have a cyber-sex relationship with your wife. 
  • Post a sexy picture of her, where her identity is not revealed on the net, then ask for comments and read them together.
  • Have a male masseuse come to the house and give your wife a body massage as a surprise.
  • Have her dress provocatively, then go out and expose her breasts or sexy behind to someone she knows or a stranger.
  • Take her dancing, sit apart and encourage her to dance with another man.
  • Have an on-line ICQ relationship or visit a chat room.

The best time to talk seriously about this fantasy is while flirting, but not in the throes of passion.  As with most sensitive topics, timing is everything.  :-)   I urge you to take the open and honest approach about your sexual needs.  Explain that your fantasy has developed over time, as you've thought about you're own sexuality.  If you're like nearly every man I've responded to on this topic, the idea of exploring a MFM relationship does not in any way lessen your love for your partner.  She needs to hear this message in particular. 
Most women will jump to conclusions and believe that their partner actually desires a swinging relationship.   They may view a shared-wife experience as a means to that end.  It will be necessary to reassure her otherwise, perhaps frequently.
Don't discuss the details about how and when - that's for later.  First share the reasons you want it to happen (see part 1).  Explore how you think you will feel afterwards.  I would suggest a "go slow" approach.  This is your chance to grow and explore your sexuality together over time and strengthen your relationship.  If done right, it will be a wonderful experience and you'll remain happy, sexually fulfilled and very much in love.