Part III
Finding the right partner
Finding the right partner
When a couple selects a man to be included in your
sex life, he might not be the right partner. There
could be a variety of reasons, but the more he knows
about either of you, the more difficult it will be to
keep him out of your life. If he does not have a
way to contact you besides e-mail, it is much easier to
say you're not interested and move on. For this
reason, I don't particularly recommend:
Ex-boyfriends: She knows the guy and she's already had sex with him, so what could be wrong? Plenty. Women have a natural tendency to become attached to whoever they are having sex with. If he was more than a one night stand, she was at one time emotionally involved. Sex with him will bring back those emotional feelings for both her and the boyfriend. This is uncool, so why risk it? Men, just like women, become emotionally attached to a sex partner under the right conditions. From time to time, her new partner will try to convince her to resume a permanent relationship, even when there's no chance she would consider it. It ruins the event for everyone. Friends that live in your area: I don't discourage this in all cases, but it would not be my first choice. If they are occasional visitors to your area (or if you visit them), that's more acceptable but proceed with caution. After she has sex with him, the friendship can change and can actually dissolve and become awkward. I made this mistake and regret it. Good friends are hard to come by. It is better to meet someone for the expressed purpose to have sex than it is to risk a old friendship. Friends also know where you live, work, play and may talk with other friends of yours. It is OK to become friends with her new partner to some degree, but don't expect it to have the dynamics of a typical friendship. A guy she knows from the gym or work: It is easier for her, because she has already sized him up and he's considered acceptable. The down side it that he probably knows where he can find her. Also, he's local. Local people know others in your area and then you risk the possibility that your shared wife experiences are commonly known. |
| When you surprise someone on the topic of sex, you
never know how they will react. Here are a couple
of situations couples may want to avoid. Propositioning
a friend: Imagine you're planning to ask a
friend to participate in a three-way. How do you
know he will agree? If he says no, everyone will feel
very stupid and the friendship will likely suffer.
Maybe he will not agree to have sex with the husband
present because it is just too embarrassing (there are
lots of guys like this). Again, it will create
problems. Maybe he is impotent. Get the
picture? My advice is that you should be prepared
for most any reaction if you're planning to ask a pal for
three-way sex. Propositioning someone you just met: What if you are planning to ask someone you just met, say at a nightclub or while on vacation? She has danced and flirted with this young hunk for two hours. Perhaps they have kissed and both of them are very horny. Then she propositions him for a three-way. The guy suddenly is quite unhappy. He is not interested in a threesome, especially with another guy present! He wants her to himself. Sadly, this does happen. Your alternative is to proposition through an advertisement. This way, everyone knows up front the nature of the relationship. |
| How do you find him? There are a few options,
let's explore the advertisement method first.
Essentially, couples can use the internet and take out an
ad. Place the ad in the The Hot Wife
Forum , the Our
Wives Forum, Yahoo's Adult
Personnel's, the Do
My Wife Mailing List or somewhere similar.
Before you do, I urge you to take sensible
precautions. Don't give out a phone number,
address, place of work, identifiable picture or any other
personal information. Do include your area code
otherwise expect more mail than you can handle. Be
prepared for an onslaught of email (20-50 messages per
day at least). I suggest an ad that looks similar
to the following:
Example Ad
When you find one you like, I suggest you respond with a picture of her that does not reveal her identity and ask for additional information. Let him know that unless you send him e-mail, he is not to send you any. This can be a fun experience for a couple going through the candidates together. When you think you've found the right man, and you believe he is for real, I might suggest you participate in a suggestive cyber-chat or cyber-sex relationship for a while. Get to know him, his likes and dislikes and share similar information with him. This acclimation time make's it much easier for both of you if you decide to meet. |
| Some couples don't want to use a personals ad. In this case, there are several other options. You can both go to a night club and she can try to pick someone up. Another option is to go on vacation and find someone there. I've heard of couples that take a Caribbean vacation just for this purpose. |
| Readers of MFM erotica found on the web have no doubt
noticed the interest, especially by males, centered
around the penis size of the studs selected to please
their women. The stories seem to take on mythical
proportions. So... do you search for a well hung
stud? The answer maybe yes and maybe no depending
on your situation, although a "minimum" size
criteria is a good idea. Most men desire to have a 10
inch penis as thick as your arm. But, if you ever
have an honest conversation with a well hung guy, you
might find he's not perfectly happy about it.
Why? Because he's too long for full penetration
with many partners. Vagina size varies
significantly and while some are very deep, others are
not. Some women experience pain, not unlike a cramp
if a penis or dildo makes forceful contact with the back
of the vagina near the cervical entrance. If the
man cannot grind his pelvic bone against her clitoris, it
may be very difficult for her to really enjoy the sex and
have orgasms. Contrary to what you might read, the vagina does not readily stretch in length like a uterus does to accommodate pregnancy. It can adjust to accommodate greater thickness, not length. Thick is generally good. Erotic stories indicate that a women accustomed to the small penis of her husband will over the course of a few minutes be able to accept another man's tool that's several inches longer. In my experience, this does not appear to be true. I'm 6.5 inches and have encountered several women that would prefer that I was a half inch shorter because I would occasionally "bottom out" in certain positions. They never seemed to adjust. I've also had girlfriends that could accept a 9" dildo so vaginal depth varies. Here's something else to think about. A few years back, I encouraged my then girlfriend to have a sexual experience with another man. We found a guy. She blew him in his car about two weeks before she actually had sexual intercourse with him and found that he had a 4.5 in penis - one of the smallest she had ever seen. I was disappointed, hoping for at least six. A couple of weeks later, she had one of the most intense sexual experiences with this guy that left her breathless. She had so many orgasms, she lost count and her pussy was sore for a day afterwards. It is like the old saying, "It is not the wand, it is the magician." Another common complaint I hear from women is that well hung guy's don't try to please them in bed. They assume their size means they don't have to work too hard and it is over too soon. If you want a guy who'll please a woman, look for:
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