PART IV
The First Meeting
The First Meeting
| This meeting is necessary to see of there is
chemistry and to verify that he looks attractive to her
in person. Pictures can be deceiving. Some
couples skip this step or go straight from this meeting
to a motel but I think that's asking too much of a
woman. She needs to warm to him and this meeting is
an icebreaker that helps her with this process.
Take your time. Send him email and arrange to meet him
in a public place where you can talk. Tell him this
will only last an hour and you have an engagement later
(you can always decide to break the engagement if you
want to chat longer). Explain up front that this
meeting will not include sex. I would suggest a
place that serves alcohol and has some privacy (e.g.
background music or a sparsely occupied seating
area). Get there early and have a drink if you're
nervous. Have him set where there is plenty
of eye contact between her and the prospective new
partner. Let nature take it is course. If
there's chemistry great. If there's not, don't be
discouraged and plan to start over. If the meeting is going well, there should be flirtation and some level of sexual tension in the air. If it looks promising, it is a good idea to let the woman and her perspective partner have a few minutes alone to talk. Make an excuse to get drinks, go to the bathroom, etc. Later, the couple should ask for a few minutes alone to chat before extending a future invitation for more that just conversation. If you're both in agreement that this guy will be right for you, then it is time to make future arrangements and set some ground rules. I would suggest you arrange for a hotel meeting several days later. This gives you both time to back out if you desire. Tell him you will send e-mail if there is a problem with this arranged date at least a day in advance of your next meeting. It is appropriate that you ask the man to pay for a room or at least share the cost (If I were the lucky guy, I would volunteer to arrange for the room) at a nice hotel. I would suggest a time not too late in the day as you may want to start the evening with a meal, dinner, dancing or whatever will help make this a night she will never forget. Most ground rules should have been previously discussed via e-mail earlier including the topic of aids testing. |
| Communication at this point between you and your partner is essential. She may have second thoughts after the first meeting for one reason or another. If so, just cancel the invitation. If you're still ready to proceed, I suggest you stop having sex at least a few days before the first meeting. Why? It is one thing to talk about having sex with a stranger and entirely another to actually go through with it. Yes, this will be very difficult, because sex will be on your minds every minute until the next meeting. :-) Being very aroused beforehand will almost certainly make it easier for her. The sex will be hotter and the orgasm's more plentiful, believe me. If you can't hold out a week, at least try for a couple of days and don't have sex just prior to the encounter. |
| I suggest a nice hotel with a lounge that you are comfortable with. If you live in a small town, you should plan on driving to a nearby city to remain discrete. Don't choose a sleazy motel, the lighting is poor and the place is not usually clean or very large. Plan to meet him in the lounge and start with small talk. |
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